NAVIGATION:
1001 TALES
--"Izzy, how did you start dancing?"
--"What got you into martial arts?"
--"What kind of dancer/martial artist/writer are you?
--"How do you deal with brain damage, bodily injury and cPTSD, yet still dance, write, train, live the way you do?"
--"How do you still find joy and beauty amidst pain and loss?"
--"Wow, you should write your memoirs!"
This Is My Story

TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE NAVIGATION ANCHORS
(alas, may only be available on the desktop view)
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OR FIND ALL THE NEWEST POSTS
IN THE ORDER I WROTE THEM HERE
People come to read about my life for many reasons. Often, their curiosities are pinpointed around one or two particular topics, but they're not interested in a bunch of the other issues I cover. The way I tell stories is 100% driven by The Muse, so this blog is a Scheherazadean labyrinth.
In fact, I really wouldn't call it a blog anymore. It started out that way--and failed. And started again and failed and sorta gained some momentum and then sputtered and died once more.
I finally allowed it to become what people have been asking me to write for decades: my memoirs.
Until I began using this interactive, interconnected, multimedia format, I've never been able to do that because I've never been capable of segregating out the tales into categories that would fit into memoir-specific book lengths, and because the threads are too interconnected. One tale gives way to another topic, or that tale over there needs clarification and some background information. Guaranteed all my topic series have holes because, to tell the full story I would have to go off on another tangent.
Sometimes I do just that, and it can be frustrating for someone who is wanting a specific aspect of my story, not the full autobiographical account. So I have created this Navigation page to help you find your way through the multilayer maze.
Many of these tales are NSFW or written for anyone under the age of 18, so abandon ship now if you need it to be. You may wind up learning way more about me than you ever wanted to know. You're about to get a look at my holey underwear and the skeletons rotting in my closets. For example, there are many, many reasons I became a martial artist. As such, I don't pull punches when I write about them. I do change names to protect the not-so-innocent, and I sometimes obscure or mix-match identifying details of our...cast of characters. But I rarely give trigger warnings because I'm a storyteller, first and foremost.
Consider yourself warned.
Now that I've begun telling these tales through this online medium, I don't think I would ever try to make books out of it all again. (If somebody else can see how and wants to publish them, I'm all ears.) At this point, I'm too attached to being able to give you the soundtrack that is such a vital piece of my story. I'm a dancer, after all, and music is my life's breath. Through sounds and rhythms, I can convey certain aspects of what I feel and think more efficiently and deeply than an entire post of my words.
So if you're not playing the music videos, you're actually missing half the movie.
Plus, being in this space allows me to deliver any corresponding dance performances hand-in-hand with the stories that inspired them.
We're going to be taking some long treks into the Underworld. That's because I've spent much of my life down there. It's why I am a devotee of Persephone. Like Her, I have found beauty in the darkness there, and now I choose to go back and forth. It gives me balance. It makes me happy.
So rest assured, if we seem to be diving down and down and further down with no glorious light in sight, it's because I couldn't have learned what I learned and become who I am without being stuck down there longer than I would have wanted.
And it's because there is no Almighty Overcomer's Hollywood Ending.
There's just my life.
NAVIGATION
DANCE
DRAWING ROOM - The Healing Power of Dance
SISTARS - Ode to My Sisters
SHHHH... - The Body Knows When and Where To Go
FISH SLAP - The First Time I Tore My Meniscus
HIGH ON CRAIC - Dancing Like I Do
THE DAY I PICKED PICTUS - Beyond Belly Dance
EQUINOX: FAILURE TO LAUNCH - Adventures in Making an Online School
MUTTS, HACKS & BASTARDS - The Creative Brain
EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AT THE BALLET - I Mean Belly - No, Bella
PHOENIXING - When I REALLY Tore My Meniscus
THE KNEE INCIDENT - A Vloggy Adventure
WHAT CAN I DO WHEN I CAN'T DANCE? - Ummm...Dance, Of Course!
A MULTIPOTENTIALITE HSP - I am NOT a Specializer - In Anything
A SENSITIVE ORCHID IN A DANDELION WORLD - HSP, PTSD & TBI
KARATE KIDS - How Body Painting Gone Wrong Led Me To Martial Arts
CONFINED CREATIVITY - A Peek into My Home Dance Studio
SURFACING - The Hidden Injury in a Career That is All About *Show*
DEC 19: ON THIS DAY 20 YEARS AGO: Chakras and Pages and Most Welcome Changes
DEC 20: ON THIS DAY 20 YEARS AGO: Nadhra Rising, a Belly-Nerd in Home-Sewn Spangles
MY RAWR-ING 2020 IN REVIEW - and a Shameless Request for Patronage
THE MAKING OF BELLA & THE BEAST
THE BASE: SOLID GOLD REBEL - How I Started Dancing
*ALSO* A BELLY DANCER: Pt. 2 - The Making of BellaDancer & the 'Beast
IZZY & ISADORA - DUNCAN THAT IS: Pt. 3 - My First Modern Dance Muse
UGLY DUCKLINGS, SWANS & BIRDS OF OTHER FEATHERS: Pt. 4 - Ballet & Loie Fuller
DYE JOB: Pt. 5 - How a Coin & Fringe Bra Literally Saved My Life
CREATE & INNOVATE
NAKED IN THE ARENA - Vulnerability, Creativity & Bravery
ME & MY MIDDLE FINGER FOAMIES - My Attempt To Do The Scary Thing
BLOGGING LIKE DOUBLE-DUTCH - My Gazillionth Time Trying to Tell These Tales
HIGH ON CRAIC - Dancing Like I Do
THE DAY I PICKED PICTUS - Beyond Belly Dance
LIGHT AT THE END OF THE... - Adventures in Entrepreneurship & Voc Rehab
YEAH, I GOTCHER VALUE: WRITE HERE! - Beyond Soundbytes & 10-Step Lists
BEWARE THE MINOTAUR - Dancing With the Unknown
EQUINOX: FAILURE TO LAUNCH - Adventures in Making an Online School
THE ARENA - A Constant Theme
MUTTS, HACKS & BASTARDS - The Creative Brain
"SENSITIVITY" IS NOT A DIRTY WORD - The Highly Sensitive Person
A MULTIPOTENTIALITE HSP - I am NOT a Specializer - In Anything
A SENSITIVE ORCHID IN A DANDELION WORLD - HSP, PTSD & TBI
HERE AND GONE - Mommy & Me
THERE'S STIL-LIFE IN THE OLE GIRL YET - The Day I Stalked Death: with my camera
CONFINED CREATIVITY - A Peek into My Home Dance Studio
DEC 19: ON THIS DAY 20 YEARS AGO: Chakras and Pages and Most Welcome Changes
MY RAWR-ING 2020 IN REVIEW - and a Shameless Request for Patronage
THE ARTS OF SELF-DEFENSE
EMBODYING THE CREED - Honor, Respect & Jerry-Rigging Learning Disabilities
SCROLL ON, CITIZEN - A Response To Dicks
A SENSITIVE ORCHID IN A DANDELION WORLD - HSP, PTSD & TBI
KARATE KIDS - How Body Painting Gone Wrong Led Me To Martial Arts
"DO YOU SEE ROADBLOCKS OR OPPORTUNITIES?" - The Abled Mansplainer Asked
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO - Or At Least Graduation
"What inspired you to become a martial artist?"
--SEE CHILDHOOD BULLYING
--SEE SEX, LOVE & VIOLENCE
BRAIN INJURY
TBI 1: MY TANGLE WITH A DRUNK DRIVER
THE BIG BLUE BEAST - Weeding 18 Years of Paperwork
BLAM: The Night I Was Hit By a Drunk Driver
MORE PRESENTS FROM A DRUNK DRIVER - Traumatic Brain Injury & Scoliosis
DISCOVERING DAIN BRAMAGE - No *Bleepin'* Laughing Matter
"MILD" TBI ISN'T MILD - A Cheesy Poem About Dain Bramage
WHAT WAS AND WASN'T INJURED: Proving the Prognosis
TECHNO-LINGO MEDICAL MUMBO-JUMBO: How It Actually Impacts My Life
DOGS, CATS & THREAD SPOOLS - Complex PTSD on Frontal Lobe Damage
DEC 18: ON THIS NIGHT 20 YEARS AGO - The Musician & the Dancer
DEC 19: ON THIS DAY 20 YEARS AGO: Chakras and Pages and Most Welcome Changes
DEC 20: ON THIS DAY 20 YEARS AGO: Nadhra Rising, a Belly-Nerd in Home-Sewn Spangles
DEC 21: I DARE YOU - My 20th RebirthDay
MY 20TH ANNIVERSARY HOLIDAY TRIGGER: WT-Actual-F, 2020?!
WTF 2020: Part 2 - My WTF Holiday Season 20 Years Ago
SIT-REP: HOLIDAY HELL 2000 - The Car Wreck Journals
"DO YOU SEE ROADBLOCKS OR OPPORTUNITIES?" - The Abled Mansplainer Asked
TBI 2: DOUBLE-PUNCH TO THE FACE
TBI 3: THE YEAR OF CHRONIC SEIZURES
TBI 4: THE DUDE NOT PAYING ATTENTION AT A STOP SIGN
THE 4-PUNCH COMBO
BETTER THAN "SORRY" - Saying "Thank You" Instead
EMBODYING THE CREED - Honor, Respect & Jerry-Rigging Learning Disabilities
LIGHT AT THE END OF THE... - Adventures in Entrepreneurship & Voc Rehab
UP IS DOWN - Escaping the World of NO
I AIN'T BLOWING SUNSHINE UP ANYBODY'S WAZOO TODAY - My Covid Size 6.5 Boot
AN INTRO - To Me & Traumatic Brain Injury
"SENSITIVITY" IS NOT A DIRTY WORD - The Highly Sensitive Person
A SENSITIVE ORCHID IN A DANDELION WORLD - HSP, PTSD & TBI
FROM SUPERCOMPUTER TO FILING CABINETS - My Memory After Dain Bramage
I AM FORGETFUL LUCY-LIGHT - Anterograde Amnesia & Fuzzy Memories
OCEAN GIPSY - The Underwater Realm of Traumatic Brain Injury
THE COMA & THE SWIRLING SEA: When Memories Are Inaccessible
SURFACING - The Hidden Injury in a Career That is All About *Show*
MY RAWR-ING 2020 IN REVIEW - and a Shameless Request for Patronage
C-PTSD
THE BIG BLUE BEAST - Weeding 18 Years of Paperwork
SCROLL ON, CITIZEN - A Response To Dicks
DOGS, CATS & THREAD SPOOLS - Complex PTSD on Frontal Lobe Damage
HUSH LITTLE GIRL - Breaking the Choke Chain Around Trauma & Abuse
UP IS DOWN - Escaping the World of NO
HERE AND GONE - Mommy & Me
I DARE YOU: My 20th RebirthDay
"What is your Complex-PTSD from?"
--SEE SEX, LOVE & VIOLENCE
--SEE CHILDHOOD BULLYING
--SEE BRAIN INJURY
--SEE BODILY INJURY
"What do you do to heal it?"
--SEE ALL THE OTHER CATEGORIES
CHILDHOOD BULLYING
DOGS, CATS & THREAD SPOOLS - Complex PTSD on Frontal Lobe Damage
HUSH LITTLE GIRL - Breaking the Choke Chain Around Trauma & Abuse
KARATE KIDS - How Body Painting Gone Wrong Led Me To Martial Arts
A LOVE LETTER TO MY BULLIES - As We Approach 50
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ADVENTURES
THE WORST THING I EVER DID AS A KID - On Reaching For the One-Ring
IN THE TRENCHES - A Tale About Being "All In This Together"
LOVE BOMBS FROM HELL - The Unenviable Arts of Learning Hatred
THE BASE: SOLID GOLD REBEL - How the Class Nerd Became a Cheerleader
JUNIOR HIGH ADVENTURES: BULLYING + BOYS
--SEE SEX, LOVE & VIOLENCE - MY EARLIEST EXPERIENCES
SEX, LOVE & VIOLENCE
DOGS, CATS & THREAD SPOOLS - Complex PTSD on Frontal Lobe Damage
HUSH LITTLE GIRL - Breaking the Choke Chain Around Trauma & Abuse
SHHHH... - The Body Knows When and Where To Go
WHEN IRISH EYES ARE... - A Viking, An Irishman and a Belly Dancer Walk Into A Bar
SCROLL ON, CITIZEN - A Response To Dicks
DYE JOB: How a Coin & Fringe Bra Literally Saved My Life
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER - A Subtle Slice of the MeToo Problem
A MULTIPOTENTIALITE HSP - I am NOT a Specializer - In Anything
A SENSITIVE ORCHID IN A DANDELION WORLD - HSP, PTSD & TBI
DEC 18: ON THIS NIGHT 20 YEARS AGO - The Musician & the Dancer
AN ABLED MALE THINKS HE WANTS TO DATE ME - If Only I'd STFU
MY EARLIEST EXPERIENCES
TRAPPED INDOORS WITH MY SKELETONS - Getting Repressed Memories Back Amidst Isolation
TAKE THE SHOT - A Tomboy Cheerleader's First Crush & Burn
ONE WAY OR ANOTHER - A Subtle Slice of the MeToo Problem
THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS - Sneaking Around With Badboys At Dusk
GETTING AWAY SCOTT FREE - But Not From the Church
I GO TO A FUNERAL - And Come Home With a Date
JONATHAN - The Boy Who Changed Everything
WAITING - For News About Jonathan
GLOBAL WARMING - Brains, Boys & Revenge
A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF A PSYCHO-SLUT - Rumors, Labels & Violence
PSYCHO-SLUT PART 2 - What Happened on Friday
READY OR NOT, HERE HE COMES - Boys, Mosquitos, and a Big, Puffy Couch
A LOVE LETTER TO MY BULLIES - As We Approach 50
HIGH SCHOOL & COLLEGE
TRUE BLUE - The Quarterback and the Cheerleader
CINDER-BELLA - Ballrooms, Ballplayers, Boulders & Byrds
HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO - Or At Least Graduation
JONATHAN - Reprise.
BODILY INJURY
MY TANGLE WITH A DRUNK DRIVER
--See BRAIN INJURY - TBI 1: MY TANGLE WITH A DRUNK DRIVER
THE KNEE INCIDENT
FISH SLAP - The First Time I Tore My Meniscus
PHOENIXING - When I REALLY Tore My Meniscus
THE KNEE INCIDENT - A Vloggy Adventure
SLATHERED IN OIL - My Hot New Love Affair
WHAT CAN I DO WHEN I CAN'T DANCE? - Ummm...Dance, Of Course!
THE WHOLE KIT-N-KABOODLE
THE BIG BLUE BEAST - Weeding 18 Years of Paperwork
UP IS DOWN - Escaping the World of NO
EXPERIMENTS IN CHIROPRACTIC - Upper Cervical
EXPERIMENTS IN CHIROPRACTIC 2 - How Being Stood Up Detoured Me To a Miracle
MY RAWR-ING 2020 IN REVIEW - and a Shameless Request for Patronage
HEALING
NAKED IN THE ARENA - Vulnerability, Creativity & Bravery
SISTARS - Ode to My Sisters
BETTER THAN "SORRY" - Saying "Thank You" Instead
DRAWING ROOM - The Healing Power of Dance
SHHHH... - The Body Knows When and Where To Go
MY SELF-LURVY PLAYLIST - That I Put on When I Need A Pick-Me-Up
LOVE AND CRAP...AND LOVE - On Regret and Grief
BEWARE THE MINOTAUR - Dancing With the Unknown
THE ARENA - A Constant Theme
THE BIG BLUE BEAST - Weeding 18 Years of Paperwork
EMBODYING THE CREED - Honor, Respect & Jerry-Rigging Learning Disabilities
PHOENIXING - I Am the Placebo
THE KNEE INCIDENT - A Vloggy Adventure
SLATHERED IN OIL - My Hot New Love Affair
WHAT CAN I DO WHEN I CAN'T DANCE? - Ummm...Dance, Of Course!
LEARNING TO SAY "YES" - The Ultimate Goddess Retreat
UP IS DOWN - Escaping the World of NO
EXPERIMENTS IN CHIROPRACTIC - Upper Cervical
EXPERIMENTS IN CHIROPRACTIC 2 - How Being Stood Up Detoured Me To a Miracle
I AIN'T BLOWING SUNSHINE UP ANYBODY'S WAZOO TODAY - My Covid Size 6.5 Boot
FROM DARKNESS: THE LIGHT - A Letter From CoronaVirus on Spring Equinox
WHY SO SERIOUS? - Utilizing Laughter in Rough Seas
DOGS, CATS & THREAD SPOOLS - Complex PTSD on Frontal Lobe Damage
HUSH LITTLE GIRL - Breaking the Choke Chain Around Trauma & Abuse
WABI-SABI: THE BEAUTY OF IMPERFECTION - Learning To Love That Person in the Mirror
KARATE KIDS - How Body Painting Gone Wrong Led Me To Martial Arts
A LOVE LETTER TO MY BULLIES - As We Approach 50
THERE'S STIL-LIFE IN THE OLE GIRL YET - The Day I Stalked Death: with my camera
DEC 19: ON THIS DAY 20 YEARS AGO: Chakras and Pages and Most Welcome Changes
HOME ALONE ON CHRISTMAS - But Not Really
MY RAWR-ING 2020 IN REVIEW - and a Shameless Request for Patronage
SHORT STORIES, POETRY & ART
WHEN IRISH EYES ARE... - A Viking, An Irishman and a Belly Dancer Walk Into A Bar
BEWARE THE MINOTAUR - Dancing With the Unknown
HADES THINKS HE'S FUNNY - Fun With the Underworld at Equinox
THE TREASURE CHEST (A Faerie's Tale)
THAT - A Raw, Ragey Poem To Punctuate a Response To Dicks
THERE'S STIL-LIFE IN THE OLE GIRL YET - The Day I Stalked Death: with my camera
THIS IS FOR THE BLEEPING BIRDS - A Poopy Pigeon Poetry Interlude
OCEAN GIPSY - The Poem I Wrote Days Before Disabling My FB Account
SURFACING - A Poem About Being an Entertainer With a Disability